Assignment 2c: How to Make Your Friends Like Something.

Every once in a while you will come across something so wonderful and perfect you need to talk about it, but no one you know likes or even knows about it!

The solution is simple. So very simple!

All you have to do is make one of your friends like it so you will have someone to talk to about it! Here is how to make your friends like something!

How to Make Your Friends Like Something:

1. Find something you like (and by like I mean something you’ve been obsessing over) and casually mention to a friend that you think they will “like it.” Briefly explain relevant details to them (i.e. plot, cast, medium etc.) and offer to lend it to them.

1

. . .

2. Become annoyed if they have not started and finished the thing within 24 hours of having received it. Bring it up in every conversation until they realize it’s something they should have done instantly.

2.2

. . .

How dare they not marathon/read/try it with the same enthusiasm you have for it.

NOT THAT KIND OF MARATHON

3. Begin to miss the thing you lent them. How is it taking so long for them to get around to it!? It’s only the first in a series— you were done in what seemed like minutes! Question what is taking them so long. Bring it up in your next conversation as if it were a secondary thought that you just barely remembered. If they still haven’t started, it’s time to get passive aggressive.

. . .

. . .

Now you must try (and fail) to occupy your mind with other things. When this fails, stare at your phone until your friend informs you of their progress.

Now we wait.

4. Wow. Just wow. They still haven’t started it? Wow, way to go “friend.” No need to be passive any more— get in their face about it— really push them now. It’s for their own good! They’re going to love the thing once they get into it (at worst, they’ll just like it). Put a time limit on the lending.

. . .

. . .

That’s right, they’ve forced you to become a library, which is okay! It’ll be just the incentive they need to finally do the thing.

Pictured: Your future.

5. Be informed that you’ve been too pushy about it and that they’ve lost any interest they had. They are now vowing to never do the thing just to spite you.

. . .

. . .

6. Come to terms with the fact your friends don’t love you enough— but that is great because they didn’t deserve the thing anyways.  The thing deserves better than that. The thing deserves someone good enough to settle down with! Not just a fling! One day, you’ll meet someone who is worthy of all the things the thing has to offer long-term. Someone who can give the thing a commitment.

The thing is desperate enough to try a dating site.

It’s too good for them— they had their chance and blew it. Resolve yourself to moving on.

. . .

. . .

7. Turn to where you and the thing will be appreciated: The internet fan groups.

Hello Friend.

.

.

.

Congratulations, you may not have accomplished what you were originally trying to do but you have achieved a new inner peace you didn’t realize was possible!

Pictured: Your new-found sense of being.

Until you find something else you want your friends to like… then you’re back at square one.

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7 comments on “Assignment 2c: How to Make Your Friends Like Something.

  1. […] friends are all just background noise now until you can get your next fix of the story (Or you can make your friend like it so you will have someone to talk to with about […]

  2. toveen says:

    I’M STILL NOT GOING TO DO THE THING

  3. ridabook says:

    STOP WRITING ABOUT ME IN YOUR BLOG OR I WON’T DO THE THING EVER

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