How to Get Over Writers Block

Sometimes, you will have absolutely nothing to write about.

Nothing.

Zip, nada, zilch. Your mind will be as blank as the paper in front of you. You have a deadline that is creeping up and your fingers just won’t write. It’s okay, don’t panic.

Here is how-to get over writers block.

.

How to Get Over Writers Block:

.

Who is more to be pitied, a writer bound and gagged by policemen or one living in perfect freedom who has nothing more to say?” ―Kurt Vonnegut

.

1. Type anything. Just start typing. Make up nonsense words or just write down sentences about how much your writing sucks. Oh man, this is going to suck so bad, nothing written will be of any value. Maybe you should try and remember some poignant sentences to get you in the mood of great writing? Um… it is a truth universally acknowledged that I really suck at writing… yeah, that seems like an accurate quotation.

 

Pictured: What you’ve spent the last 3 hours writing.

2. Look at what you have written. Judge what you have written. Realize that nothing you ever write will ever be good again. All is lost. Didn’t you used to be good at this? You’ve been complimented on your writing style before, how did you lose your ability so quickly and without noticing? Did someone find a way to steal your talent?

GET HIM!

3. Give up on writing anything prosaic. Instead, focus on story boarding and planning the narrative. Maybe inventing a new character will spark some inspiration in you. As a general rule, if the story has become boring to you, you really won’t want to write it. If you are happy with your story, then look at writing resources online. There are so many, just pick one. These resources can span from how to fully develop a character to a mix you can listen to to clear your mind.

Complain all you want, but Batman IS a Mary Sue.

4. Failing all this, research your subject material. If you have a character that likes a particular type of music, make sure any bands or songs you mention fit into the genre, and if you listen to a song that it happens to get your creative juices flowing, then awesome. If you’re writing a story that is set in a particular place, use Google maps  and fake-walk around to see if you’re inspired by anything you see… Although there are some weird things you can find on Google maps…

You have the power to look anywhere in the world but you should totally check out your house first…

5. If all of this fails, stop writing. If it really isn’t coming to you then you can’t force it. Just focus on something else until you can put pen to paper once more.

“If you get stuck, get away from your desk. Take a walk, take a bath, go to sleep, make a pie, draw, listen to ­music, meditate, exercise; whatever you do, don’t just stick there scowling at the problem. But don’t make telephone calls or go to a party; if you do, other people’s words will pour in where your lost words should be. Open a gap for them, create a space. Be patient.”
―Hilary Mantel

6. Wonder at all the times in your past where writing came as easily to you as breathing. Man, you had it easy then, the story would write itself and nothing could stop you. Not a lack of food or dehydration or even the need to urinate. You were a writing god. All the plebeians would worship at your alter of amazing dialogue and description. They would make offerings of novice poems written to you in dedication while you sat and judged their inability to use synonyms for words that clearly did not fit.

I am basically describing JK Rowling.

The truth is that there is no super how-to on writers block, probably because it is so completely vindictive that every time someone tried to write one, they would actually GET writers block. It is the Catch-22 of writing and- wait, I know, you should totally just kill all of your characters! Everyone knows that a great writer kills almost everyone! You won’t have to write if you just kill every character.

.

.

.

 

Congratulations! Problem solved! Yup. Every problem is gone. You can write now. Nothing will ever get in your way again. You are an all-powerful god that holds the fate of your characters in the palm of your hand and mercy is for bad writers.

I don’t always kill characters, but when I do, they are your favourite

Be careful, he might kill you next.

Writing is hard, okay? Don’t judge me.

Advertisements

4 comments on “How to Get Over Writers Block

  1. toveen says:

    Nothing solves writer’s block like some good old-fashioned character deaths!

  2. ridabook says:

    Funny and well written! 😀

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s